We need to make this decision early on. Some of you have done things like this. You committed as a youth to remain chaste until marriage. You committed to keep clean of drugs and/or alcohol. This is a similar situation. If you give yourselves an out for later years, the chances are that you will take it.
This will be one of the few times I will address this. My goal in this blog is to focus on saving our husbands and our marriages and our families. It is not my place to encourage you to divorce your husband and in my mind that needs to be a last resort. However, there may be some of you in this struggle that are dealing with a husband who
simply doesn’t have the will or desire to change or who thinks that this is
“normal”. If that is the case, you need
to pray very hard, counsel with your bishop and other leaders and decide what
you should do. If you have done all you can for your husband and he will not be
in this together with you, it may be time to move on. But please make that
decision very carefully. Otherwise,
don’t give up on him.
For most of our husbands, this problem has been
years in the making. It will take years to heal from it. It’s like gaining
weight, we seem to be able to gain quickly, but then losing it takes
longer. He probably already wants to
give up on himself. This is one of
Satan’s greatest tools. He puts thoughts into our heads like “I can’t live like
this for the rest of my life.” Or “he’ll never stop”. Those are discouragements
that he is putting in your path so that you will give up. And if you give up on
your husband, it will give him a reason to give up on himself. There is something
in him that wants you to give up on him which would validate all the horrible
things he already believes about himself. My husband has told me that sometimes
the only thing that keeps him going is my faith in him. Your husband needs you to believe in him. (Even if you don't always, but more on that later.)
This may be the biggest trial of your life. You might need to make your peace with that now. Gird up your loins and expect a long, hard battle with Satan. But know that you can do it. Satan has a lot of power, but he is not all powerful. Your Heavenly Father is all powerful and nothing is impossible with his help. The title of this post doesn't just mean don't give up on your husband. Never give up on yourself! You are stronger than you think you are.
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