There is a group of women who often suffer in silence. We are women whose husbands are caught in the snare of pornography.
This is a place of help, of hope, of strength.
This blog is written with the assumption that you have chosen to fight for your husband, your marriage, and your family.
The things posted here will be in the form of encouragement and help to do just that.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Never, Never, Never Give Up

      We need to make this decision early on. Some of you have done things like this. You committed as a youth to remain chaste until marriage. You committed to keep clean of drugs and/or alcohol. This is a similar situation. If you give yourselves an out for later years, the chances are that you will take it. 

     This will be one of the few times I will address this. My goal in this blog is to focus on saving our husbands and our marriages and our families. It is not my place to encourage you to divorce your husband and in my mind that needs to be a last resort. However, there may be some of you in this struggle that are dealing with a husband who simply doesn’t have the will or desire to change or who thinks that this is “normal”.  If that is the case, you need to pray very hard, counsel with your bishop and other leaders and decide what you should do. If you have done all you can for your husband and he will not be in this together with you, it may be time to move on. But please make that decision very carefully.  Otherwise, don’t give up on him. 

     For most of our husbands, this problem has been years in the making. It will take years to heal from it. It’s like gaining weight, we seem to be able to gain quickly, but then losing it takes longer.  He probably already wants to give up on himself.  This is one of Satan’s greatest tools. He puts thoughts into our heads like “I can’t live like this for the rest of my life.” Or “he’ll never stop”. Those are discouragements that he is putting in your path so that you will give up. And if you give up on your husband, it will give him a reason to give up on himself. There is something in him that wants you to give up on him which would validate all the horrible things he already believes about himself. My husband has told me that sometimes the only thing that keeps him going is my faith in him.  Your husband needs you to believe in him. (Even if you don't always, but more on that later.)

     This may be the biggest trial of your life. You might need to make your peace with that now. Gird up your loins and expect a long, hard battle with Satan. But know that you can do it. Satan has a lot of power, but he is not all powerful. Your Heavenly Father is all powerful and nothing is impossible with his help. The title of this post doesn't just mean don't give up on your husband. Never give up on yourself! You are stronger than you think you are. 

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