I need to remember to not put all my eggs in today's basket.
Life is long.
I heard a quote recently that today will not last forever. So if things are going great, prepare yourself for harder times to come, but if things are hard, things will get better. Today is not forever.
When things are weighing me down, I look to the past, I try to encourage things to come to my remembrance. Jane just asked the question, "Could we have been so mistaken in the men we married?"
I don't think so. We are women of the Gospel, women in the Spirit. I am sure that most of you did the same thing I did before getting married, which was to seek confirmation. Some of us knew of our husband's addiction and some of us didn't. But Heavenly Father knew, even if we did not. We prayed long and hard about our choice of whom to marry. We received confirmation and we moved forward in faith. I cling to that confirmation when I am weary. I know that I would not have received it if my husband's situation was hopeless or if I had nothing to offer him and his recovery.
What else am I to remember?
My covenants. We do not make our covenants with weak and fallible mortals, we make them with our perfect Heavenly Father. He is the one who has made us promises and he is bound if we keep ours. Even if our husbands have lied or cheated, these choices of theirs do not change the conditions of our covenants.
Blessings and promptings. I read my Patriarchal Blessing frequently these days. Sometimes there is a loneliness in living the life of an addict's wife. But when I read that blessing, I am known perfectly. All of my strengths and weaknesses, trials and blessings were known from the beginning and continue to play out in my daily life. And much more will unfold to me over the years to come. I try to take notes in my spiritual journal whenever I receive a blessing, even if it is to be set apart for a calling. There are things in there that apply to me and my life, not just my calling. I am being told that I can do this calling and will be helped and strengthened to do it despite my home situation. Heavenly Father knows what I am dealing with and that is clear in my blessings even if the one giving it is unaware of my personal trials.
Confirmations and promptings. I take notes in my spiritual journal of promptings and guidance that I receive. I have a notebook that is strictly for the addiction part of my life and I make notes in there that will become blog topics or maybe just something for me to reflect upon.
Remembering all the strength I've been given, the confirmations I've received and the things that I am hoping for help me to deal with the difficulties of today. For one day, they will be but a small moment, and I will rejoice!
“You can have clear faith in the ultimate outcomes at the end of the trail but still find vexing uncertainties in the steps immediately ahead. The Lord knows the end from the beginning and everything in between. You, however, function in the muddled, mortal middle.”
-Neal A. Maxwell