Do you ever ask yourself "why me?"Why did I have to be given this challenge of having this destructive force in my home, of having a husband who is not strong enough to preside and at times is not worthy of his priesthood? Why do I have to feel so alone at times when I should be able to lean on my husband and hearken to his counsel?
There are no easy answers. But when I let myself ask these questions, I have a responsibility to see if I can answer them. Here are a few things that I have figured out.
1. I am not alone.
I am not alone spiritually. I will have the companionship of the Holy Spirit in proportion to my worthiness. I have a Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me. I have a Savior who knows exactly what I feel. Every pain, every angry thought, every tear shed - he has also endured. He is the only one who can say "I know how you feel" and actually mean it.
I am not alone temporally. The subject of pornography addiction is being covered more and more frequently in conference, in articles, in church meetings, etc. While it is saddening to see the scourge that it has become, it is also helpful to know that my husband is not uniquely challenged. There are a lot of families struggling with this same issue.
2. I am not perfect.
It may be easy to feel self-righteous in the face of such serious sin, but I too am a sinner and I also have need of growth and repentance. If I am merciless, I will receive no mercy. If I am judgmental, I shall be judged harshly.
3. I am amazing.
I have strength! I have wonderful gifts and talents and I am supposed to use them to help those around me. To whom much is given, much is required. I know that Heavenly Father confirmed my decision to marry my husband. He would not have done that if I didn't have something that he needed.
4. The worth of souls is great.
My husband is a son of Heavenly Father. He is deserving of love and forgiveness and patience. And again, my Heavenly Father would not have put me in a hopeless situation. He put me here to help one of His beloved children, and for payment, I will also be magnified and strengthened and will draw nearer to perfection as I fulfill this calling as a wife.
“My brothers and sisters, we are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness—be they family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us."
-Thomas S. Monson
We are surrounded by those who need us, but we are also surrounded by sources of strength and help.
Why not me?