My first step is to pray that I will see and notice whatever small efforts he is making. My prayer is to be aware of what he sees as progress for himself, even if it seems too small for me to acknowledge. I want to validate his own efforts in order to help him feel successful.
I need to find ways to express gratitude to him. Genuine gratitude, for his efforts. He needs to know that he is making progress so he doesn't give up on himself.
He is attending his church meetings and he comes home with a different spirit about him. He has even said how strongly he feels the spirit there. He is getting himself out of bed at 6:30 on Sunday mornings and getting himself there. This. Is. Huge.
And last night he said that he was ready to stop watching one of our favorite shows because it has too much sex, too many (lighthearted I might add) references to porn and too often the characters take the name of the Lord in vain. I was pleasantly stunned.
Now, this is one of my favorite shows and I actually introduced him to it and he's loved it. But this new perspective was so refreshing for me that I am willing to get rid of the DVDs we own in order to support this idea of being just a little bit cleaner in our home.
He is also having a different view of money lately. He is more aware of how we spend and realizing that it is not a bottomless pit and that maybe we need to change our priorities.
He is taking notes for himself on his progress and taking accountability for his choices. I led him to this and insisted that he do it because there will be times when he feels weak or worthless and he needs to be able to go back and look at something that shows his progress. But he took it on himself and is doing the work.
I was gone for several hours last Saturday and he had a list of things to do. He did them all!
He is humble. He is no longer defensive. He is teachable. These little changes in attitude have made all the difference for me. I no longer feel so alone, we are walking this rough path together.
By Small And Simple Things Are Great Things Brought To Pass